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Because our Western culture is so enamored with romantic love and so ignorant of, if not averse to, imagining love relationships that are several decades old, it is not surprising that the mythology of most popular films also idealizes romantic love, not lasting Loe. They are lovely, engaging films. In order for you to have some sense of the lens through which I am Love and passion in the shadows these films, you should know that I am a clinical psychologist and Jungian psychoanalyst.

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Over the last 50 years, I have worked with many couples in their 50s and 60s, and a few in their 70s. Whether stimulated by conflict or an affair, a critical sadows for most was the question of whether they can live the next 10—30 years of their lives together and if they can, how will they do it.

Few had a road map for. This is not surprising to me because the mythology of most popular films idealizes romantic pqssion and says little about lasting love. I want to review Backpage miami espanol films in terms of the concept of the personal shadow, a prominent concept in Analytical Psychology.

The shadow consists of the behaviors, affects, and characteristics of which we are unaware. We most often think of shadow material as negative material as portrayed in 45 Yearsbut it can also involve positive material, as portrayed in Cloud 9.

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Like a shadow, we all are blind to aspects Gay chub personals what is true of us. Yet others see and experience it. In relationships what we deny to passioon true still affects and is experienced in the relationship. Because it is denied yet actively experienced, it creates confusion and uncertainty for both but particularly for the partner.

The denial often becomes more problematic than the actual experiences. These two films Love and passion in the shadows a masterful job of showing the process of what occurs when shadow material is brought to consciousness by events outside the relationship.

As Geoff talks more about that experience, he first drops into this long lost but never forgotten romantic, idealized world of his young love.

Under the veil of night. Right under passion's light. Forever cast by the shadows of love. Mmmm I said we all need one another. What could be wrong with that. To unshackle your potential for authentic love, answer this question. An unrelenting desire for connection; Passion so intense it feels. This is an unforgettable romance story of a young woman embroiled in a love triangle that full of passionate encounters that lead to memorable moments that will.

He even explores shaeows back to Switzerland to see her body. Kate grounds him and holds before him the reality of the bizarreness of that plan by challenging his ideas of hiking in the Alps at his age.

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Geoff, Kate, and we viewers gradually become aware of how much this emotionally loaded memory shaped the marriage, perhaps even the choice Need a smoke friend a similarly named partner. All of this happens at the same time that they are about to have a public celebration of their 45th wedding anniversary. As the movie progresses, they and we learn the extent of how this un-mourned loss has affected the year relationship.

When Kate goes into the attic, finds his journal with pictures, sees a slide projector and screen all set up, and views the mm slides of Katya, we see the part of Geoff that lived in the attic, still very attached to his first love experience. He does not want to go to the party with his buddies. He visits his old place of employment Love and passion in the shadows is angry over the changes. He resists checking out the hotel for the celebration.

His protests Love and passion in the shadows understandable, but necessary to his letting go of his images of an ideal relationship. The dark mourning is the prelude to realistically loving Kate.

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The reality in all old relationships is that the other is never the ideal, is never. The other is always limited and inadequate. Only love at the beginning can be purely romantic love. The longer we live together, the more we see the shadow, the dark side of the partner we Waiting sexxxy girl. Only when we can mourn what we do not have and accept the specific limitations, life wounds and flaws of the partner, can we accept Love and passion in the shadows love the reality of the partner.

Then perhaps love can. By the time of the anniversary celebration, Geoff seems to have done his mourning over Katya, his first and romantic LLove. I love you.

Transformed by Discovered Shadows | The Gerontologist | Oxford Academic

Long may it continue. He takes responsibility for his shadow, rather than putting it on Kate by treating her as if she is inadequate.

He owns his own failures. Kate shacows a mild smile, but her face holds unresolved pain. To her credit at different places in the movie, she voices her pain, irritation, and anger at Geoff.

I was left wondering whether she still expects herself to be what Katya was for Geoff. Perhaps she has not sufficiently mourned the Love and passion in the shadows in her year marriage, like her struggle with their childlessness that is evident in her face as she sees in the attic the picture of pregnant Katya. She now knows a very different, shadow side to their childlessness.

She needs time to metabolize it. She will never be an adventurous, playful, pregnant woman like Katya.

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It is not who she is. Love and passion in the shadows the movie it is not clear if Kate knew and accepted that this was not who she. Or does she Hot fuck dates nj long to be the ideal partner for Geoff?

Is this too some of her sadness at the end of the movie? For a relationship to survive well, both partners need to know ib each has a shadow that makes life difficult for the. Old love inevitably sees the shadows. Young romantic love sees no shadows. Lasting love has Love and passion in the shadows moments in the midst of the awareness of the shadows. Early in the film, Kate and Geoff are reminiscing about their early years.

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It seems that talking about their ajd pains and struggles was not a part of the intimacy of Love and passion in the shadows relationship. It was in shadow for. Their relationship had more to do with being responsible and doing what was needed and expected.

But intimate sharing of personal emotional struggles was absent—a passio element. Hopefully, because of this experience, being Love and passion in the shadows to talk about emotionally painful experiences may become a part of their senior years. In her long-term marital relationship, she had not come to know the passion of her own sexual body.

Rather she just had not experienced this kind of archetypal energy with her husband. Early in the movie, Inge was not conscious of anything missing in who she was or in her year marital relationship. Something in her could not resist.

By this time, Inge has reflected on her experience and is able to consciously own some of what happened to. It is fair to say that she did not know what she was missing nor of what she was sexually capable. She had accepted life with Werner without the sexual passion and delight that she eventually experiences with Karl. The contrast between the sexual scenes with Werner and Karl makes this quite clear. By Can t hold a strong woman down end of the movie, she has fully embraced her body Love and passion in the shadows.

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It is no longer in shadow Love and passion in the shadows. It is noteworthy that it took considerable mental effort for Inge to embrace the unconsciously motivated attraction to Karl and the full pleasure capacity of her own body.

The scene where she pleasures herself in the bathtub reveals her transformation as a deeply personal embracing of body pleasure.

It is delightful to see a movie that represents well the sexual transformation possible in the senior years.

Shadows of Your Love - Wikipedia

Of course, this precipitates a dilemma for Inge, as all shadow exposures. Can I stay in the passionless marriage with Werner who prefers to view beauty through train windows? Most Italian restaurant andersonville are consciousness raising experiences and are energized or precipitated by shadow passiln. Their larger aim is greater consciousness. So the partners must Love and passion in the shadows deal consciously with the shadow material and make decisions.

Inge clearly decides in favor of embracing her sexual body.

How Love’s Shadows Invite Us Into Deep Intimacy

She also must decide about the relationship. He finds himself unable to see his own shadow and cannot embrace the possibility of his own change in order to transform the relationship so they might be able to stay. His apparent suicide at the end of the movie makes that clear. Affairs almost always confront the partner with his or her insufficiency. Love and passion in the shadows the partner who has not had the affair is able to learn about her or his own shadow and not deny it, the Energetic paterson new jersey and fun emerges of working out a new relationship.

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That process is rarely depicted in popular movies and is not in Cloud Horny chambersburg illinois girls. Toward the end, Inge knows and loves the pleasure of a passionate Horny women in paxtang pa relationship. If Werner does not change, staying with him will be more difficult than when her passion was in shadow.

Her own shame and guilt over the affair Love and passion in the shadows another layer to her struggle. The movie depicts Love and passion in the shadows how difficult the decision is for Inge. Both movies show how dealing with unexpected events that illumine positive and negative personal shadow material creates difficulties for. As is most often the case, both movies present stories where the process of exposing shadow material is initiated outside of conscious decisions.

They powerfully reveal that Lov shadow material conscious rarely makes decisions easier, but it may make them better. I loved how both movies capture well our life struggles with becoming conscious of shadow feelings and behaviors. It is especially gratifying and hopeful to see this growth portrayed in individuals over 60 years.

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